Marlo Robin Burton
born April 12, 2023
Marlo is our firstborn son.
Before you learn anything else about him, you should know he loved jamming out. He didn’t like to be bothered. He knew what it was like to cuddle up to our dogs and he learned their barks. He would kick anything you set on him away. We already knew that Marlo was a very opionated, stormy little boy. We were so ready for him.
Our pregnancy was uncomplicated, a “textbook” healthy one. Nothing was flagged during genetic testing, routine first and second trimester ultrasounds, and the big anatomy scan. We followed all doctors’ orders and advice to the letter. The last time we saw our son alive was during our 24 week scan, when we got to see his face and movements in 4D.
At our routine 39 week prenatal appointment, less than a week before his due date, the doppler couldn’t find his heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed he had suddenly died. It was only at this point that doctors were more concretely asking about fetal movement patterns... too late for it to mean anything.
The following days were the worst of our lives. Labor lasted 35 reality-defying hours, and the whole time, we knew he was gone. When we finally got to meet him, he was still the light of our life, but a light we only got to hold for a day and a half before we had to say goodbye. The hospital nursing staff were wonderful, talking about him by name and doing their very best to help us survive this tragedy. But no one could tell us why he had died.
All the doctors could say was,
“Sometimes these things just happen.”
*”Cord accident,” also referred to as umbilical cord abnormality, is an umbrella category that includes entrapment,; knots, torsion, or constriction; cord prolapse or vasa previa, where unprotected vessels pass close to the cervix; and other issues that compromise a baby’s microcirculation, including thrombosis. “Umbilical Cord Abnormalities and Stillbirth.” Obstet Gynecol, March 2020.
** In a 2023 study, 21.2% of third trimester stillbirths were attributed to “cord accidents,” making it the second leading cause of stillbirth behind small placenta size.
“Placental Pathology Findings in Unexplained Pregnancy Losses,” Maternal Fetal Medicine/Biology, 19 September 2023.
The information and encouragements included here are not medical advice. If you feel something is wrong with your baby, seek medical attention.
To us, this just didn’t make sense. How could he be healthy one day and suddenly die the next? With a little time and a lot of guidance from other loss parents, we sought answers from the Reproductive and Placental Research Unit at Yale. Using tissue from Marlo’s placenta, they were able to tell us what caused Marlo’s death: a catastrophic series of severe umbilical cord compressions spanning weeks, which led to a clot that caused a fetal-maternal hemmorhage that was not survivable.
Some might call what happened a “cord accident.”* But when enough of these events occur every year,** ending the lives of otherwise healthy babies, it seems less an accident and more a permitted eventuality.
It’s possible that if we had been given ANY third trimester scans, particularly umbilical artery doppler assessment, we may have been alerted to the danger Marlo faced, and we might have been able to deliver him early enough to be saved. Instead, because third trimester scans in low-risk pregnancies aren’t required, the current prenatal standard of care allowed him to die.
Marlo’s death was not inevitable. It was preventable, with technology providers have access to, but for which governing organizations refuse to mandate standardized use.
There are currently two pieces of U.S. federal legislation on the table that seek to prevent stillbirths at the national level. Please check out our Legislation page to learn more and support these lifesaving bills. If you are currently pregnant, we encourage you to download the Count the Kicks App, and follow PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy to be informed and supported in your pregnancy, rather than fearful of all the what-ifs. Loss is NEVER your fault, but there are steps you can take to improve your chances of bringing your baby home safely.
While there’s nothing we can do to bring our son back (if there was, we would do it a thousand times over), Marlo did change us. Springtime is now even more alive because of him. We now care even more deeply and consciously about nature and animals, and do whatever we can to embrace fun and playing games in our daily lives. We are kinder to ourselves and to others. We look for his signs -- rain, daisies, and robins. This is what we promised him.
Thank You
To the family, friends, and community who have cared for us, from the early days to today. We have only become survivors and advocates because you fed us, watched over us, mourned with us, and provided us with refuges to feel connected to our special boy.
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MARLO MEANS FUN!
The Stillbirth Prevention Act
